I'm pretty sure all tennis balls have that greenish fuzz on them.

Un prete e un rabbino vanno a piedi a un bar…Il rabbino ha detto: “Avete sentito l’uno di noi?”

I'm taking elementary Italian, and that's my first joke. It's not original (I stole it from Family Guy), and it's pretty basic, but it's my first semester.

TRANSLATION: A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The rabbi says: "Did you hear the one about us?"

OIL (look at it upside down).

The Tiger Woods Family Christmas Portrait

That's one smokin'-hot wife there. If he's having an affair, that would really be a joke. Then again, at least two husbands have cheated on Christie Brinkley, so what does that tell you?

I was at Macy's recently and on the corner was a guy dressed in a Ku Klux Klan uniform holding some sort of platter and a sign that said "FREE COOKIES".

I thought what a weirdo and tried ignore him but I couldn't help myself so I walked up and said "What are you doing?".

"I'm giving away free cookies".

Not knowing quite what to say I asked him, "Are they any good?".

"They're good cookies".

"Are you sure they're good?" I asked.

His reply: "They're really good, but I'm prejudiced."

pbc

OMG

lol     I saw the joik below on fmylife.com:

Today, I handed my PhD dissertation, which I have spent the past year researching and writing full-time. Last night, my roommate set an autocorrect on Word that changed "neither" to "*****."(this Lounge shield keyward...well ,this word is"n-i-g-g-e-r") I didn't notice until after I handed it in. My professor is black. FML

dave milbut wrote:

 

up

SQUIRREL!

Ya but the poo-tang sure was nice.

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,

when a little girl On her new shiny bike stopped beside him.

'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?'

'Yes Sir,' the little girl said, 'he sure did!'

The cop looked the bike over and handed
the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation.

The cop said, 'Give this to your Dad, and next year, tell Santa to put
a reflector light on the back of it!'

The young girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Nice horse you've got there Sir. Did Santa bring it to you?'

Playing along with the girl, he chuckled and answered,
'Yes, he sure did!'

The little girl looked up at the cop and said,
'Next year tell Santa;
The dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.

~graffiti wrote:

 

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street,

 

<snipped>

That would cost him probably $100 million.  Not to mention the public disrespect for his children's mother (right after she's gotten her HIV results, no doubt) would be, to wildly understate it, crass.  He ruined his family, so it really isn't time to strut and celebrate, even if he can't keep his putter in his pants.

tks... didn't know.

Here's one for JK3.

It ain't no joke!

John Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock

(MADE IN JAPAN ) for 6 am.

While his coffeepot

(MADE IN CHINA)

was perking, he shaved with his

electric razor

(MADE IN HONG KONG)

He put on a dress shirt

(MADE IN SRI LANKA),

designer jeans

(MADE IN SINGAPORE)

and

tennis shoes

(MADE IN KOREA)

After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet

(MADE IN INDIA)

he sat down with his calculator

(MADE IN MEXICO)

to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch

(MADE IN TAIWAN )

to the radio

(MADE IN INDIA )

he got in his car

(MADE IN GERMANY )

filled it with GAS

(from Saudi Arabia )

and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB.


At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day checking his
Computer

(made in MALAYSIA ),

John decided to relax for a while.

He put on his sandals

(MADE IN BRAZIL),

poured himself a glass of wine


(MADE IN FRANCE)

and turned on his TV

(MADE IN INDONESIA),

and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job in AMERICA


AND NOW HE'S HOPING HE CAN GET HELP FROM A PRESIDENT


MADE IN KENYA