Nor does it show up on my program list, But when I go to delete programs it is there. This is driving me batty.
What's is your operating system and browser?
Please see the following page and let us know what exactly you see: http://helpx.adobe.com/flash-player/kb/find-version-flash-player.html
Did you select the add-on? The Enable button will be displayed after you select the add-on.
But, I don't think it's the issue here. If the Flash Player add-on is disabled, you wouldn't have seen the rolling ball.
Please see the following page again: http://helpx.adobe.com/flash-player/kb/find-version-flash-player.html
Go to step 2 and see what's the version of Flash Player installed on your machine.
Yes, I selected the add on all along but the enable button never became available. Now when I click on the link above, there isn't a bouncing ball at all. #1 and #2 are blank. So now I'll try step #4 and install again this will be about the 20th time.
It sounds like you're running into an issue with Internet Explorer 9. If you're on a work computer, or you don't have Administrator access, you may lack permissions to enable plug-ins; however, it sounds like this can also happen if your Windows user profile gets corrupted.
I found the following thread on the Microsoft forums. The correct answer is at the bottom of the thread:
Short of that, you might consider just running Chrome, which ships a built-in Flash Player: