Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:

1. 
   1. Weightlifting commentator: "This is Gregoriava from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing."
   
   2. Dressage commentator: "This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother."
   
   3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father."
   
   4. Boxing Analyst: "Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious."
   
   5. Softball announcer: "If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."
   
   6. Basketball analyst: "He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces."
   
   7. At the rowing medal ceremony: "Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew."
   
   8. Soccer commentator: "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
   
   9. Tennis commentator: "One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?"

You may have won $500 if you were at the Elvis Presley tribute concert last night.

To claim your prize, Press 1 for the Money and 2 for the Show.

A drummer is browsing around a musical instruments shop. When the owner asks if he can help him,the drummer replies:

"I'm tired of the band giving me crap because they say I don't play a real instrument. I'll show them I can. I want to buy that tuba and the accordion over there."

The owner thinks for a moment and says,"Well, I can sell you the fire extinguisher,but the radiator comes with the building."

Alas, not true.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mrgorsky.asp

A great joke, but if it's at the expense of a certain individual, well, that's why I published the link. I like the joke and certainly the moonwalk fulfills the promise of the joke, but then associating it with the person doing the walk erroneously it turns out, does need the disclaimer.

Sic transit gloria mundi.

Sic transit Gloria…
(old but eternally good)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5CaPFj8LZ8k

The most interesting use of that phrase was by the Orchestral conductor Leopold Stowkoski as a sort of parting shot to his ex wife Gloria Swanson.

All the Latin I learned to speak but not understand as a altar boy is now exposed with a dilligent application of on line translators.

BTW, the last link"

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4e/Finis_gloriae_mundi _from_Juan_Valdez_Leal.png

doesn't work.

Wow, did the joke thread ever turn dark.

No disrepect intended to the great explorer Neil Armstrong, whom I got to photograph last year, nor to the dead Pope(?) pictured, but speaking of dark (and also deceased)...

From the Hippie Dippy Weatherman

(At 1:38) 

Tonight's Forecast:  Dark; continued dark tonight, turning to partly light in the morning

-Noel

I'd read this bit about the moonwalk first before reading the joke above and thought for sure it was going to be a Jacko (Michael Jackson) punchline. Now that I've read the joke, I'm hoping someone adapts it to make a better gag out of it.

There's a riot in Tunis

Egypt's broken out in fights

There's a rocket launch in Gaza all the way to Golan Heights

Prez44 Where Are You

/Caught on Twitter,baby boomers probably remember the TV theme this is from

Well,if you prefer to wait... fine by me

The joke is on us. They are jiving us.

Jive

Deceitful or worthless. (adj)

Ah! Well, sometimes it takes two to tango!

Not that stock prices have anything to do with product quality (makes you wonder why not, but it is what it is)...  But apparently the hype generator must be broken too.

-Noel