Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators during Summer Olympics that they would like to take back:
An old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says "I love you so much I don't know how I could ever live without you"
Her husband asks, "Is that you or the wine talking?" To which she replies: "That's me, talking to the wine."
A drummer is browsing around a musical instruments shop. When the owner asks if he can help him,the drummer replies:
"I'm tired of the band giving me crap because they say I don't play a real instrument. I'll show them I can. I want to buy that tuba and the accordion over there."
The owner thinks for a moment and says,"Well, I can sell you the fire extinguisher,but the radiator comes with the building."
So, The Man on the Moon has gone... RIP.
Here's a lovely story about him:
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only said his famous "One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks - usual communication traffic between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut; however, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian nor American space programs. Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant.
On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. He finally responded.
It seems that Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question: "When I was a kid, I was playing baseball with my brother in the backyard. He had hit a fly ball which landed in front of my neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As I leaned down to pick up the ball, I heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
A great joke, but if it's at the expense of a certain individual, well, that's why I published the link. I like the joke and certainly the moonwalk fulfills the promise of the joke, but then associating it with the person doing the walk erroneously it turns out, does need the disclaimer.
Sic transit gloria mundi.
There's also (from Google : )
"Sic transit gloria mundi
How doth the busy bee,
Dum vivimus vivamus,
All the Latin I learned to speak but not understand as a altar boy is now exposed with a dilligent application of on line translators.
BTW, the last link"
Your link and mine look diferent.
Make sure that the Adobe Forum plays nice with Wiki,
or guggle: "Finis_gloriae_mundi_from_Juan_Valdez _Leal.png"
It's just an old painting, so I don't understand what either of the two objections may be, Adobe's or Wiki's : )
Wow, did the joke thread ever turn dark.
No disrepect intended to the great explorer Neil Armstrong, whom I got to photograph last year, nor to the dead Pope(?) pictured, but speaking of dark (and also deceased)...
From the Hippie Dippy Weatherman
I came up with this address for a decent size png:
A bit gruesome, but then, so was "Guernica"
I'd read this bit about the moonwalk first before reading the joke above and thought for sure it was going to be a Jacko (Michael Jackson) punchline. Now that I've read the joke, I'm hoping someone adapts it to make a better gag out of it.
There's a riot in Tunis
Egypt's broken out in fights
There's a rocket launch in Gaza all the way to Golan Heights
Prez44 Where Are You
/Caught on Twitter,baby boomers probably remember the TV theme this is from
Yes, to match up with the TV theme, I agree.
Now, it will not matter, if the "Mayan Calendar Theory" is correct... but I am not counting on it.
However, I was thinking that in early Dec., I'd max out all my credit cards on things that I have always wanted, like maybe an Aston Martin V12 Vantage, and stay at the Ritz in Paris - just in case it's true. Of course, if it IS true, then like so much else in life, the "pleasure" would be fleeting.
Very true.. m 100% agree
LOL, an apparent spammer identity establishment actually becomes funny when a generic post, good in almost any thread, doesn't actually apply. Who would "100% agree" with any entry in a joke thread?
One also wonders whose post #2,181 was actually in reply to.
If I've pegged this one wrong, I'd dearly love to hear the explanation.
Not sure why "Reply to ___ " is blank, but I think that the poster is legit. However, I could be wrong on that.
I think that they are new to the forums, and desired to participate in two of the longer-running threads here.
Just my thinking on it,
Now, if the Jive developers would only let us toggle from flat to/from threaded view, without have to go to Profile, it would be easy to see who was replying to whome, and then get right back to the view that we like... maybe there IS a joke in there somewhere?
Two guys are walking their dogs, a black lab and a Chihuahua.
Passing a bar, the "lab" walker says, "Let's get a beer."
The other: "We can't take our dogs in there."
The first: "Watch." In he goes and orders a beer. "Sorry, you can't bring your dog in here." "He's my seeing eye dog." "Oh. Sorry. Here's your beer."
The other guy follows, orders a beer. Same response: No dogs allowed. "He's my seeing eye dog." "Yeah, right. A Chihuahua? Give me a break." "They gave me a CHIHUAHUA?!"
Europe, Middle East and Africa