Jim,

That made me smile. No, it is just that I have been lobbying for White Rabbit to be declared the greatest for a few decades. And sometimes it is quite entertaining to send in a swarm of bees to the picnic just to see what happens.

>last time I worked on my parent's chimney I rented a scissorlift for the day

Won't work... this is a mostly decorative chimney, for a gas fireplace, so the chimney rises out of the "middle" of the roof... the painter must walk up the roof to paint

One of my Sturgis trips (I think 1996 but could have been 2006... LOTS of "adult beverage" consumed) John Kay performed at Buffalo Chip, doing all the old Steppenwolf classics

You've never heard Born to be Wild, until you hear it with 500+ Harley motorcycles roaring in the background

Hey Rod:
For whatever reason, your story reminded me of Euell Gibbsons.  Remember those Grapenuts commercials?.. "Taste like wild hickory nuts".
Evidently Euell was a homeless natural food expert part of his life.  One day he was collecting dandelions in someone's front yard.  A lady saw him and invited him into her house.  Euell thought at the time she was going fix him something to eat.  Instead, she took him straight through to the back yard and told him there were far more dandelions in the back for him to eat.

As long as we are this far off topic .....

"My Fair Lady".

1. The music is extremely memorable

2. I have always loved Audrey Hepburn

3. We played the music in 8th grade Orchestra. Over and over and over. And it never got old.

4. I wore out two LPs over the years.. Sure glad MP3s don't wear out or get scratched.

Funny. I think of myself that way sometimes. But the nurse always has a very, very short skirt, stockings with the line up the back, garters .... you know - the image that just popped into your head just now!

back on topic...elvis presley...hound dog !  the greatest !

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXiulKIgGpg

you can skip the ad , and see some nice doggy pics too !

Mitch,

a nutty idea... but maybe will work okay...

you get some footage of the race....and put the mtv award songs onto that ...like some POV views of race and long shots, wide shots, mix it up...and put it to music ( mtv award music )....

now you show that on big screen in living room....and YIKES....she gets into it like never before !

have yoodles and popcorn and snacks available as she gets into racing with her own music...and you'll be trying to figure out ways to get her to stay HOME when you go the races with your friends !

Rod,

I don’t think you get it.  They don’t want to see the race in the background. They want to see One Direction, Pink, Rihianna, et. el).

They like watching the big TV and I would feel bad chasing them off.  They know I’m the boss and I’m allowing them to use “My” big TV.  It’s not worth making them to suffer by making them watch their 32” TV.  They’re too sweet. There’s another TV in the house, so I go to

* * * *

Encryption Key: AY702GPT59A5Y/load

Begin Encryption -

Only you can see this imbedded message.  I sent it to only your account.  No one else can see it.  If you discuss it, the “secret” will get out.

I’m convinced there is a secret women’s society.

My little girls love me to death.  I can’t count the number of times they hug me during the day, and I have to apologize to them but I have to continue: cooking, washing dishes, washing clothes, hanging clothes, working; so I can pay for all the trips, clothes, food…)  They get anything they want.  And I do it happily.

And then I remembered my ex-wife, ex-girlfriends, and it occurred to me.  I’m being worked. 

Could there be a Secret Women’s Society?  A society that indoctrinates ALL women into THE “secret women’s society” (SWS).  They start them at a young age.  A society where it is forbidden to even acknowledge that this society exists, yet even worse would be to divulge ANY of the secrets.  Sound impossible?

I have hard evidence of those secrets.  I gave them to my attorney.  He was recommended highly. They are just too dangerous for me to be in possession of.  I care about my life too much.  My attorney put them in his 800 pound safe.  My will says that if I mysteriously die (car wreck, plane crash, meteor hitting me), he should give the evidence to the District Attorney.

In a strange way of fate, my attorney was killed last week when he was parking his car 10 floors underground.  He got hit by a direct bolt of lightning according to his obituary. (I don’t get it, the past three weeks have been sunny clear blue sky’s)  Moments later his office was ransacked and the only thing they took was the 800 pound safe.  What’s the chance of that?  Why him? Instead of the safe, why didn’t they just take the cash that was lying out, that was next to the rare gold coins collection?  And it’s ironic that the security cameras burned out 2 minutes before the break in.  The US Govt. approved “women owned” company that does maintenance on the cameras said the cameras were out of warranty and they were surprised they lasted this long.  The costly upgrade will begin next month by the landlord, so he doesn’t get sued by my attorney’s women partner.

Anyway, here in a nutshell are the secrets that women are given, to the best I can remember:

DISCLAIMER: THESE ARE NOT MY OPINIONS.  THE EVEDENCE WAS DESTROYED. I’M ONLY REPEATING WHAT I’VE SEEN/REMEMBERED*.

*- Most of my recollections were from Rod’s BEER-THIRTY!!! sessions.

Secrets:

- Order the most expensive thing on the menu.

- Order Honey Do lists, with expectation of no failure on your part. (the wrath is not worth the failure)

You need to understand, they will never ever ever ever ever admit that these secrets exist.

1. A Knights Templar would tell where the Holy Grail is, before SWS would admit anything.
2. A Stone Mason would tell what those clues on a dollar bill really mean and where the treasure is, before SWS would admit anything.
3. A Zonie would stay in Arizona, before SWS would admit anything.

END Encryption -

* * * *

my room and happily watch TV on my 13” TV.  I’m very fortunate to have this TV to watch.  I'll ask my girls what the best rock song is, so I can give my opinion.  

Bill,

What are you talking about? How did you get so far off topic?  This is a best Rock Song thread. I guess we’ll just

* * * *

Encryption Key: AY702GPT59A5Y/load

Begin Encryption –

Bill,

Never mention the women’s secret society on an unsecure channel.  What’s the matter with you? That’s very dangerous.  They will use their ultimate weapon against you – withholding “pleasure”.

Have you seen the Secret Women's Book of Kells? Do you have access to it?  If so, make a copy and give to me.  DO NOT use a copy machine.  Most people do not know copy machines have a hard drive which retains all copies.  It will safer if you photograph each page.  Pull the SD card out of the camera and bring it to San Diego.  Put the card is a safe place, (where the sun never shines). 

Tell your wife you are going to San Diego to pick up a large charity donation.  If she says she would like to go with you, then she is on to you. We will have to find you a safe house in Ocean Beach and give you a new identity as a hippie.

When driving here, avoid suspicion by driving 55mph in the fast lane.  With your cactus plate, no one will give it a second thought.

When you get to La Jolla, on Prospect St you will see a bum with a cardboard sign saying “Vietnam vet – Homless”  There will be no “e” in homeless and he will be wearing red shoes.  Identify yourself as “White Rook” and the card is for “Checkmate King”.  He will give you an envelope with a large amount of cash.

Good luck.

END Encryption -

* * * *

chalk it up to dementia.  Have a nice day.

And oh, the best rock song is One Directions "One Thing"