Is there a reason for the specific colours? If not, you might consider keeping it blue (and white) only.
Depending on possible desirability of emphasizing speed(iness) you might also consider using italics, possibly exaggerated ((increased) shear), maybe even to the degree of aligning with the front of the neck, and possibly shortening of the lower white line to the right.
Would be nice to know if this is a vinyl cut application, silkscreen, or inkjet. My only recommendation would be to include a clip art version of a falcon's head that would include its shoulder area and bleed the image off to the left. A falcon head is a bit unrealistic and static. Add some impact and drama...like enlarging the falcon artwork as big as possible ( which will require a bleed off to the left to maintain some space for the text ). I wouldn't go to the skew Mr. Bugge suggests for the text which would minimalize the falcon artwork, but try a few sans serif italics to see if that makes an improvement. You should always try to show at least 3 variations whenever you make a presentation on a design. Perhaps you have and have already decided this is the best you've come up with so far. I have a feeling you chose the font and colors you did because they follow the school's branding image guidelines ( if any ). If not, schedule a meeting with whoever is responsible for marketing communications for your school. Ask the people in the department ( if it exists ) what the school colors are and what typefaces are standard for the school. Try to minimalize "dead" space ( upper right for instance ). The banner sort of is dull and does not "invite" people into the store. I also disagree with jacob regarding the color. If possible, see if you can add something like a Blue tint in a curved shape behind the text. And, if this is silkscreen, take a look at flourescents or metallics or sparkle inks to liven it up a bit. You're asking people to enter the store, so do it with confidence. The White stroke on the text is hindering the typeface by minimalizing the red core font. Instead, create a copy of the text using the stroke and place it behind the Red text. This retains the integrity of the original character of the font's face and will make it easier to read. Try to remember this tip in the future. You're a student and this is student work. Not bad. Let's see some more.
Message was edited by: John Danek
Thanks Jacob and John! Both very helpful. The font, colors, and logo all have to match the schools branding guidelines. It is a vinyl cut banner, 8' x 2', that will be hanging against red brick and windows. I did have quite a few different drafts, but this is the one the store manager likes best.
John Danek wrote:
The White stroke on the text is hindering the typeface by minimalizing the red core font. Instead, create a copy of the text using the stroke and place it behind the Red text. This retains the integrity of the original character of the font's face and will make it easier to read.
That is the best bit of advice I've ever heard. Definitely going to try this out right now and send it off before it's too late.
Just to be clear, on the Red text, remove the stroke applied ( White ) to it and keep it on top of the copied text that will have the stroke ( behind the Red ) applied to it. When a stroke is applied to a font, it "cuts" into the color applied to the font. For instance, a 1pt stroke will cut into the font 1/2pt, reducing the original character's shape and color. By placing the stroke behind the character, you retain the full character's shape and color and the stroke is only applied to the outer edge of the character shape. So, if you wanted a 1pt stroke around the letter, apply a 2pt stroke to the text and place it behind the original text.
This is a typical project where someone has approved the design, one of many perhaps. Unfortunately, some really creative ideas never hit the vinyl plotter / cutter. As a designer, you've done your job having gotten approval on a layout. Not sure why you were asking us for our opinion when it's already been decided. Sometimes you are proud to brag that you did such-and-such a job, other times you have to settle for giving someone what they want, even if it does not meet your standards. You've done a decent job on a fairly creative project. I would love to see the preliminary layouts and how they stack up against the final choice made. Could be a nice item for your portfolio to show how you were able to apply given brand standards to a store-front banner. Graphic design is, after all, a discipline.
When I made the post here, it wasn't fully decided yet. They liked it and wanted it for the banner but hadn't asked for the full copy for printing. Because of this post, I was able to subtly change a few things before sending the final in. The changes I made were the size, for some reason the height was 26" not 24", the outline, which made it look much better, and the position of the falcon, text, and lines to center it more.
At the library. Internet is down at my house, but when it comes back on, I might upload a few of the earlier versions. One is the school's logo with a money sign in the middle. It was the business clubs first idea, rejeted because of the money sign (made the Catholic school look bad...).
This is a distinctive plan where someone has accepted the design, one of many possibly. unluckily, some really inspired thoughts never hit the disc schemer . As a designer, you've complete your job having gotten appreciation on a layout.
yes its awsum, but i do have one suggestion for your desing i dont like this white stroke around the text can u plz replace it with something like outer glow or drop shadow or any other things that cud be better then this one, coz this gives bit outdated look i want sort of glossy n shadowy look !
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