I Like Monkeys

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece.
I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand.
I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them.
I like monkeys.
I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals. I stopped laughing.
I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.
Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later.
Damn cheap monkeys.
I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs.
I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.
I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for awhile, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad. I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was embarrassed.
I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortuntely there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.
I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire. Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed,
The odor wasn't improving.
I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.
I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.
I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.
I like monkeys.

i read about this a few months back. wicked cool, huh?

Here's a link to an interesting interview with physicist Brian Greene on NPR's Fresh Air. He talks about multiple universes (the multiverse). http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=4495488

I heard about this!  Nice link dave.

Hi Larry.  Thanks for the update!  I'll let Steve know you are well.  Not sure if he had something specific to ask you, but I'll let him know he can find you here!!

eyes on the prize:

http://www.greentechmedia.com/articles/read/transphorm-the-pros-and-co ns/

Right now, converters are made out of silicon and can be 85 percent  to 90 percent efficient, i.e., 85 percent of the AC power that gets  injected into them comes out as DC power. The rest gets converted into  waste heat.

Transphorm can boost that figure to the upper-90-percent range.

OK, this is slightly off topic and potentially controversial but I've been getting increasingly hacked off at the shrill media reporting about Japan's nuclear situation.  It is definitely Not a Good Thing, but even if it develops into a worst case scenario the amount of people who might die eventually is absolutely miniscule, especially when compared to the tsunami itself.  Most news reports have glaring errors that are obvious to a layman...

Yeah but the Chernobyl reactor was still in a fission reaction and exposed to the environment, the Japanese ones have already shut down, even if they are fully exposed it won't be as bad.

"Whereas this is something that goes a little bit beyond that -- a new interaction, a new force."

it's the "magic" foce! wonder if there'll be weak and strong versions! woop!

Science is fact that is based on some practicals and it shows the behaviour of natural and physical world with it. In other words , we can say its knowledge from some tests.