My Amazing Potato
mdubuque Apr 29, 2011 3:36 PMIf you don’t like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. My country, love it or leave it. Change we can believe in.
Bad cop, no doughnut! I brake for tailgaters. God is my copilot. Gun control means using both hands. A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. Honk if you’re honry. I may be slow, but I’m ahead of you.
Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Practice random acts of kindness. Mean people suck. Save the whales. All generalizations are false. Body by Nautilus, brain by Mattel. Caution: I drive like you do. Dyslexia: Fict or Faction?
Visualize whirled peas. Get in, sit down, shut up and hold on! If you can’t trust me with a choice, how can you trust me with a child? Is there life before coffee? Join the Army. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes. My sole purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
My karma ran over your dogma. My fourth grader was Student of the Month at George Washington Elementary school. My Yorkshire terrier is smarter than your honor student. My cat is smarter than your honor student. My kid had sex with your honor student.
My bumper sticker is smarter than your bumper sticker. I have an amazing potato. My potato is smarter than your Yorkshire terrier. My pet donkey is taller than your cat.
My other horse is in the shop. My other horse is a cocker spaniel. My other car is a Tesla. My other car is a Rottweiler. My other plane is a houseboat.
My other boat is smarter than your potato. My potato is cuter than your sister. My dreams are funnier than your potato. My potato is funnier than your malicious lies.
My potato is smarter than your twin sister. My garbage can is smarter than your raccoon. My potato is smarter than your Twitter feed. My rabbit is smarter than your sandwich. My cartographer is smarter than George Bush.
My goldfish is smarter than your living room. My derivatives are bigger than your GDP. My potato is smarter than your lawyers. My surgeon is smarter than your hairdresser. My brother is prettier than your wife.
My lawyers are bigger than your bicycle. My wars are smarter than your wars. My refrigerator is smarter than you are. My candidate is smarter than a turtle. My turtle is funnier than you are.
My words have fewer letters than Sarah’s. My thoughts are wider than your house. My opinion is rounder than yours. My potato is smarter than your ham sandwich. My potato is smarter than your iPhone.
My potato is not afraid of your tin foil hat. My amazing potato is fearless. My potato is grace under pressure. My potato is a spud. My potato has legs.
My potato is a fast talker. My potato tells no lies.
My potato is a song and dance. My potato is a walk in the park. My potato won the lotto. My potato knows how to treat the ladies.
My potato knows the value of silence. My potato speaks volumes. My potato reads Dickens. My potato picks flowers. My potato pinks pencils. My potato speaks Spanish.
My potato was born in Ireland. My potato’s father never went hungry. My potato is not a so-called "potato couch". My potato is an armrest.
My armrest is a chair. My potato is not a couch. My potato never sleeps. My potato always dreams.
My dreams are not a potato. My dreams are something else. My potato is an icon. My house is not a farm.
My potato is not a French fry. My potato is not a tot. My potato never rhymes. I make sure of that.
In its dreams it’s anapestic. In its thoughts it is a phrase. My potato is a turnstyle. Its nose, it is afraid.
My potato is a sailboat. Its eyes are green and blue. It sails me on the ocean. Carry warm singing blue.
It sails me on the ocean. Carry warm singing blue.
Coyright 2011 by Matt Dubuque



