There IS a way to do it. Find a place on the person's face that will yeild a good track point, and use AE's motion tracker. Don't worry if it's not in the center. Got a good track? Great.
Create an adjustment layer. Using its Anchor Point, put the center point of the layer over the center of the head. Activate the Position property Expression, and pick whip to the appropriate property in your track.
Now apply Spherize to the Adjustment layer, and tweak to taste. You can animate Spherize radius and the adjustment layer's Anchor Point for fine tuning.
I don't know if this trick would work for eyes. You might have to rotoscope them, and that can get tough.
thanks for all the help