Yer, I've followed all of those intructions and nothing works. Not really sure what I'm doing wrong, just been going through the process of falsification so far.
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You mentioned you have played with PDF presets? Are you sure you have exported Interactive PDF not Adobe PDF (Print)? Those are two different formats in InDesign´s Export File format list... videos are not supported in PDF for print format. And PDF presets works only with PDF for Print, not with Interactive PDF format.
If you are using proper Interactive PDF format, make sure you have checked (Forms and) Media; Include All option in export window.
It's definitely in Interactive pdf mode.
Maybe if I printscreen my current presets and tell me if I'm going wrong there?:
And yes, Forms and Media has been checked