how do i load a flash player on my website and can i make it possable for my users to get there own player for there user profile page?
You CANNOT install Flash Player in a web page "Not no way, not no how".
And without a distribution license (http://www.adobe.com/products/players/flash-player-distribution.html) , you CANNOT post a direct downoad link on your site or you violate copyright and trademark laws (DMCA). Even with that, you can't post it for other to put on their page, because it can't be installed in a webpage. It's an end user browser plug-in, not an embedded script for the page.
What you can do is post a link to the downloads page: (http://get.adobe.com/flashplayer/). And you can even use an official Adobe image for the link:
If you're embedding videos, there should already be a script to display the "expressInstall.swf" which has a link in it.