I have taken a look at the partner account associated with the email address you used to submit this forum thread and I can confirm that the partner site exists and has not been deleted.
If the portal you're referring to is associated with a different email address, please let me know and I will investigate further.
When I go upgrade either of my sites, it asks for payment. I thought the hosting was free....
Can I create a new site and use that as my partner site, or does it have to be the first site I create.
I can confirm you have 1 free site credit however I suspect you are attempting to claim 'emweb' as your free site. The issue here is that this site is on the webCommerce plan and that it's only possible to redeem webHosting sites. If you would like me to change the site plan for this trial site so that you can claim it as a free site, please let me know.
But before doing so, please refer to the following document in order to understand that many features on the webCommerce plan are not supported on the webHosting plan: http://www.adobe.com/products/business-catalyst/buying-guide-subscriptions.html