I looked in the Control Panel under Programs and it is listed there to delete. But when I actually try to find it in the Programs list, it isn't there. HELP!
Flash Player ISN'T a program. It's a part of another program, called a "plug-in". It CAN'T run without a browser being open and Flash content in an open webpage. THAT'S why you'll never see it in your start menu, or in your Program Files folders.
It's in C/Windows/System32/Macromed/Flash
If the files are there... it's installed.
But when I actually try to find it in the Programs list, it isn't there.
What do you need the program for - to play local SWF files? If so, you need to download the standalone player (Projector) from http://www.adobe.com/support/flashplayer/downloads.html
Note that the download is the player, not an installer, so you will need to make the .swf file association manually.