I dont know how to describe this problem or even what to call it to look up how to get rid of it because I have never seen it until about a week ago.
There are these invisible shapes showing up around all of my objects in indesign and they act as a safe space almost so that nothing can go in that space. They become visible when the objects are selected.
How do I adjust the spacing or get rid of it all together?
What I am talking about is the exterior shape around my objects in the photo example
That's a text wrap boundary, and you've accidentally set text wrap as the default. Open the text wrap panel and for any object that should not have text wrap, select it, then click the top left button. To remove it as the default in existing files, do this with nothing selected. Check it with no files open to be sure it isn't also set for new documents.
You seem to have turned on Text Wrap for all new objects.
Select all your objects, and then go under Window > Text Wrap to turn if off.
Next, turn it off with nothing selected, so it stops being the default.