Close all open documents, then under the View menu, select Extras>Hide Frame Edges.
You already know how to change it. Select Hide Frame Edges from the menu with nothing open.
When there are multiple possible states for a parameter, one of them must be set as a default, and not everyone is going to like that choice, which is why you have the option to personalize your prefs and change it. As a designer I have to strongly disagree with your assertion that designers have no need to see frame edges. You be surprised at how many empty frames I see cluttering up other users work and how much trouble they can cause.
Thank you Malcolm.
And to Peter.
Peter, I didn't mean I don't want to be able to see the containers sometimes, I just don't want to start off every document with the frames turned on. Yes I do check for stray frames before sending a doc off.