If you want the images to show up as PSD in Lightroom after editing in Photoshop, then you need to follow the below steps :
1. Go to Lightroom Preferences > External Editing
2. Change the file format to PSD under Edit in Adobe Photoshop [they would open as Raw first in Photoshop but the format would change to PSD after saving the file]
If you are unable to get the images back in Lightroom, then you might want to create a new catalog and test within that.
Thank you! I do have this setting already but what I need is for the files to open as PSD in PS. They are opening up as RAW .NEF files and they're huge and very slow to work with.
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As Chetna said. They don't become PSDs, or any other format, until you actually save them from Photoshop.
If Photoshop is slow at this point, there's some other problem. Try disabling "Use Graphics Processor" from Preferences first.