16 Replies Latest reply on Aug 2, 2018 1:09 PM by theresab1830980

    Creative Jokes Thread

    Bob Howes Adobe Community Professional & MVP

      Every industry spawns some "in jokes" and ours is no exception.  I'll start with some video editing jokes since I do a lot of that:

       

      Q:  How many editors does it take to change a light bulb?

       

      A:  Change?   I'm not changing a thing!

       

       

      Never trust an editor with a sun tan.

       

       

      Anybody tempted by the dark side, remember AVID spelled backwards is DIVA

       

       

      Q:  Why did the film editor decide not to make the change the non linear video editing?

       

      A:  He thought it wasn't a reel job.

       

      So, does anybody have any more?   They don't have to be video related...any "Creative" in jokes are welcome!

        • 1. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
          Benjamin Root MVP & Adobe Community Professional

          Q: What did the photographer give his girlfriend?

          A: 1/320 @ f2.8

          • 2. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
            OldBob1957 Level 4

            Not quite jokes in the traditional sense, but;

             

            If you ever hear a programmer refer to someone as 'NSI', it means No Software Installed.

             

            And one for anyone who has to solve computer Problems; PEBCAK:

            Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

             

            --OB

            • 3. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
              gener7 Adobe Community Professional & MVP

              OldBob1957 wrote:

               

              And one for anyone who has to solve computer Problems; PEBCAK:

              Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

               

              --OB

               

              When someone complained something was not working and it turns out they didn't follow directions, it was politely referred to as "Pilot Error".

               

              Gene

              • 4. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                Benjamin Root MVP & Adobe Community Professional

                I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect"

                1 person found this helpful
                • 5. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                  barrettdungy Level 1

                  .. smart work

                  • 6. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                    OldBob1957 Level 4

                    That's like the guy whose password was always "Required". Because whenever he signed up at any new website, it always told him; "Password Required."

                     

                    And yet another from the world of Information Technology;

                     

                    You know you're an IT professional when; you hear the phrase "Users are losers." and it never occurs to you that they are talking about drugs.

                     

                    --OB

                    • 7. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                      gener7 Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                      Call Center jokes: Even more call centre jokes

                       

                      (Some of these look like they are from the 1980s.)

                       

                      Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
                      Customer “Ok.”
                      Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
                      Customer: “No.”
                      Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
                      Customer “No.”
                      Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this
                      point?”
                      Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
                      =====
                      Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting
                      the same error message.”
                      Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”
                      Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
                      =====(related (keywords: jokes)

                      Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
                      Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”
                      Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”
                      Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
                      Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
                      Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
                      Customer:: “What?”
                      Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
                      Customer: “No…”
                      =====
                      Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
                      Tech Support:: ?!%#$
                      =====
                      Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see
                      the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
                      Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
                      =====
                      Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”
                      Customer:: “A white one.”
                      =====
                      Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”
                      Customer:: “How do you spell that?”
                      =====
                      Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”
                      Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.”
                      =====
                      Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”
                      Customer: “Pentium.”
                      =====
                      Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”
                      =====
                      Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
                      =====
                      Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”
                      =====
                      Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document,
                      but the computer won’t boot properly.”
                      Tech Support: “What does it say?”
                      Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
                      Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
                      Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
                      ======
                      Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
                      Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
                      =====
                      Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”
                      Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
                      Tech Support:: “Well?”
                      Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

                      • 8. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                        gener7 Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                        Explaining social media in 1962:

                         

                        explaining social media in 1962.jpg

                        • 9. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                          OldBob1957 Level 4

                          On the other hand...

                          B4_Social.jpg

                          • 10. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                            Nancy OShea Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                            Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?

                            A: None. It's a hardware problem.

                             

                            An SEO couple had twins. For the first time ever they were happy with duplicate content.

                             

                            Q: Why was the JavaScript developer sad?

                            A: Because he didn't Node how to Express himself.

                             

                            Q: Why did the developer go broke?

                            A: Because he used up all his cache

                             

                            Q: Why did the Facebook user add body { padding-top: 1000px; } to his profile page?

                            A: He wanted to keep a low profile.

                             

                            ========================

                             

                            Costello: Hey, Abbott!

                             

                            Abbot: Yes, Lou?

                             

                            Costello: I just got my first computer.

                             

                            Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do want to know?

                             

                            Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off.

                             

                            Abbot: That's true.

                             

                            Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do?

                             

                            Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then...

                             

                            Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off.

                             

                            Abbot: I know, you press the Start button-

                             

                            Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do.

                             

                            Abbot: I did.

                             

                            Costello: When?

                             

                            Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button.

                             

                            Costello: Why should I press the Start button?

                             

                            Abbot: To shut off the computer.

                             

                            Costello: I press Start to stop.

                             

                            Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.

                             

                            Costello: I knew it! So what do I press.

                             

                            Abbot: Start

                             

                            Costello: Start what?

                             

                            Abbot: Start button.

                             

                            Costello: Start button to do what?

                             

                            Abbot: Shut down.

                             

                            Costello: You don't have to get rude!

                             

                            Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant.

                             

                            Costello: Then say what you mean.

                             

                            Abbot: To shut down the computer, press-

                             

                            Costello: Don't say, "Start!"

                             

                            Abbot: Then what do you want me to say?

                             

                            Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop.

                             

                            Abbot: But that's what you do.

                             

                            Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights.

                             

                            Abbot: Don't be ridiculous.

                             

                            Costello: I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation.

                             

                            Abbot: What are you talking about?

                             

                            Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

                            • 11. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                              gener7 Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                              Yes, this has to be said these days:

                               

                              in case of fire.png

                              • 12. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                                gener7 Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                                how_long_have_i_been_ugly__by_onyxcarmine-d9w2a3k.png

                                • 13. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                                  Szalam Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                                  The best joke I know:

                                  "We'll fix it in post."

                                  You may not think it's funny, but every time I hear someone say it to me, I start laughing...

                                  • 14. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                                    Nancy OShea Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                                    True story:

                                     

                                    I was on the phone to my health insurance provider (in the USA). Long story short, I am in a long wait queue on hold, listening to their telephone MUZAK.

                                    What's playing?  I kid you not.  I can't make this stuff up.  "Suicide is Painless"

                                    Suicide is Painless (M.A.S.H Theme) - YouTube

                                     

                                    REALLY Nice music guys!

                                     

                                    Nancy O.

                                    • 15. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                                      John T Smith Adobe Community Professional & MVP

                                      Another true store from the EARLY days of the original IBM PC that had 2 floppy drives... one for the program disc, the other drive for data

                                       

                                      An employee where I worked asked for my help to find his "lost" disc, which he swore was eaten by one of the drives (I was what passed for a computer technician there, because I had an Apple II at home so was supposed to know "everything" about small computers)

                                       

                                      After looking very closely, I had to open the computer case and remove the bottom floppy drive... when the computer was assembled the upper and lower drives were just far enough apart that there was a narrow opening between the two drives

                                       

                                      Just enough of an opening for him to slide the floppy disk into the gap between the drives, instead of into the actual disc opening

                                      • 16. Re: Creative Jokes Thread
                                        theresab1830980 Level 1

                                        Hi

                                        I will tell you one joke, that is the customer service in India for Adobe. You can get a different answer for the same problem, in the same conversation 5 different ways. Now, they offer 3 month free software in the place of 150-170 us dollars. They also refuse to give me the us contact information