one way to pull this off - since the appearing movement is based on the intensity changes in the brightness in the fractal map, you need to make changes in the fractal map so that the pole side of the map will not have any brightness changes. simply add a grey solid with a feathered mask to the side. this will stabilize most of the side of the flag, the rest will be covered by the pole itself as shown here in this tutorial:
skip to 07:09
you're welcome! was hoping to see the flag! I find that it's much easier to do this with displacement map than card dance, but I don't make too many flags. BTW after a little research found this wonderful tutorial for a flag - very realistic. Red Giant | Episode 107 - Create a Waving Flag
Thank you for the link,
I will post the flag when it will be finish, for now its in work and progress haha.