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It sounds like you are using far to big a brush for refine edge in select and mask.
Use the quick selection tool initially to get a better selection then keep the brush small (10-20px and run round the edges only with the refine edge tool
The most difficult images to accurately select are those that are not clearly defined -- slightly out of focus. That is what you are dealing with here. In addition, some of the hair strands are white and would be lost in silhouetting. I suggest that for starters, if you want to practice the technique, you begin with a less challenging subject; a sharper one with greater subject to background contrast.
Regarding your actual file (rather than your screen grab): it is possible that a technique other than refine edge (such as a modified Lab or other channel mask, or Calculations and an appropriate final background would be a better option. Refine Edge is not a one-method-fits-all device.