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Another thing I'd check - see if Event.ACTIVATE is fired when releasing the mouse, not sure if it'll work the same way accross all browser, but, maybe, the SWF will get focus after you release the dragged object.
I really get ACTIVATE event then release mouse button. As a work around it's possible to use this event to stop dragging and set what I need.
I don't think it is possible as the mouse is actually not released / dragged in the area of flash app (you still have an HTML peace in between - that is the <div> you ware dragging is preventing events delivery). So, I think you'll have to use some sort of workaround either way...