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As far as your client side Flex architecture is concerned, Cairngorm is a good choice I think.
Big , scalability, robusted, modularity, rapidity, and mantenible aren't words that come to mind when someone says PHP, except rapidity :) OK I'll stop trolling now...
But! if this is your teams first adventure into a large, scary Flex app it's going to make it even harder if you're dealing with an unfamiliar server side technology AND an unfamiliar client side technology.
So this begs the question, what skills does your team have on the server side?
J2EE/JEE or .NET seem like the first two obvious choices for a large scale backend. (Just how large are we talking? i.e. concurrent users, database size, etc).
Is MySQL the right choice as well?
I'm not making technology judgements here, they are all tools. Just trying to get some more information :)
If you were to include LiveCycle Data Services ES as part of your solution, you could use our adapters: RemoteObject, SQL, and Hibernate. I know that both the SQL and Hibernate assemblers work well with MySQL.
I can add that if you're not doing something that's request-response based, i.e. you need the server to "push" (as they call it) to the client sometimes without a corresponding client request, standard Cairngorm may not be ideal for you IMO. At least this has been my experience. If you were going to use PHP, you probably had a similar architecture in mind anyway, so it'd probably work fine.
Although -- you could probably adjust Cairngorm a little to suit your needs, even if it isn't perfectly suited. Take a look at the source, it's not really a huge or complex framework, I found that I was doing almost the same thing before I discovered Cairngorm... and I'm a big fan of simplicity. Hopefully it'll stay small and not grow into some huge J2EE framework bloat-fest.