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You can set up your project in flex builder to connect to the remote server instead of the local one. Also, you could add remote database as a datasource in the cold fusion administrator for the localhost; this would allow you to have single database for testing and production. Personally i like to have my localhost mirroring the production server this allows me to test localy and make sure that everything is working properly before publishing to the live server.
Is it easy to mirror an external ms sql to an internal ms sql server