I turned to start InDesign Server without specifying a port.
Of course that limits debugging to that single instance (out of 8 on the machine).
Please repost in server forum if nobody has a better answer here.
Thanks for the hint. Thats it.
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In the meantime I've read some more documentation.
You can specify a configuration name on the command line, default is "configuration_12345" if the -port is 12345.
Apparently you can then add the configuration name to the target expression, e.g. create a new script with this line
Run the script - the target is recognized (no dialog "server ... is not running") and from now on shows up in the target dropdown of ESTK.
Right now though after a long timeout I can't talk to any scripting engine of my CS4 server.
The status line displays "Can't initialize target", maybe some startup problem my server is having.
Thanks for the help.