Just to address one part of your post:
Have you noticed that the credits for a movie go on for a very, very long time? And have you noticed how movies are sometimes said to cost hundreds of millions of dollars to make? That's because visual effects and compositing work takes a _tremendously_ long time for a large number of people.
I'm good with After Effects. It's my job to know how to work with this software. And it takes me hours to do a single visual effects shot that only lasts a few seconds.
So, don't think that you're necessarily doing something wrong just because it's taking a long time. This kind of work takes a long time.
Regarding books that teach workflow: Chris and Trish Meyer's Creating Motion Graphics and Mark Christiansen's Studio Techniques books do. After you've got the basics of the software's features down, dive into these.
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To put your mind at ease: I'm 100% self-taught, both in 3D animation as well as all this computer geekery. When I started out 18 years back, there simply was no way to study any of this here in Germany - there were no courses at universities or aprrenticeships. However, and I think that really is your problem, I have had a good artistic background already with painting, clay sculpting and any kind of paper/ wood/ metal craft, so I knew how to structure my workflow to get a specific result, recognizing limitations such as what a single person can actually manage to do at any given time. To me it seems you are still overwhelmed because you are letting yourself influence by too many things and try to use too many tools in the process. So in order to overcome your dilemma, the most reasonable approach would be to limit your artistic process by focusing only on a few tools just lika a painter decides on a specific style. This does not mean you should forego 3D animation nor does it mean you should start working only in AE and do a "hack job" of editing all your video there, but you may simply stop your exploration of specific features which you may never use otehr than following a tutorial. I would also stop watching tutorials as exactly this wil llead you astray again. Instead, try to draw up a project based on your current skill level and put it in motion. Along the way, you will find enough opportunities where you will have to look for a specific solution using a tutorial or reading help files, but that#s a different thing from just watching them al land trying to memorize every bit...
Mylenium's advice is excellent.